I should really give an update because I find this amusing.
I did send an e-mail to i_am_frowning@smile.co.uk
with a link to this web page. I got nothing back beside the
automated reply.
I broke down and called, here is how the conversation went:
(me): "hello"
(Smile) "hi"
"I screwed up with my application and you have sent me a check book, a debit and credit card with a bogus name."
"Oh I see, let me put you on hold. (later) You will need to send us a certified copy of your passport so that we can update your account."
"Wait you are telling me I should go through the hassle of making a certified copy and yet you sent me a credit card without checking my name?"
"Huh, I will put you on hold (much later) Let's close your account and re apply on the web for a new account."
"OK"
I cut up the cards and the check book went down the shredder. It's not fair to criticize without making some suggestions for improvement.
Forename (first name) Surname (family name)
I know I am a moron and got it mixed up. However your competitor HSBC does it, so should you.